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Angela Findlay
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In My Grandfather’s Shadow: A story of war, trauma and the legacy of silence Hardcover – 14 July 2022

by Angela Findlay (Author)
4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 80 ratings
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The true story of three generations of one family which examines the guilt and trauma of being part of Germany's Nazi past.

This is a moving and powerful memoir that illuminates the extraordinary power of unprocessed trauma as it passes through generations, and how when it is faced it can be healed.' JULIA SAMUEL, author of Every Family Has a Story, Grief Works and This Too Shall Pass

'A page turner of the highest calibre! Meticulously researched, searingly honest and beautifully written,.' MARINA CANTACUZINO, Author and founder of The Forgiveness Project

'An absolutely extraordinary book.' Keith Lowe, Sunday Times bestselling author of Savage Continent: Europe in the Aftermath of World War II

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In 1987, Angela Findlay walked into a prison and instantly but inexplicably felt at home. For years she had wrestled with a sense of 'badness' within her. But working with prisoners was just the beginning of her search for answers that took her to Nazi Germany and the life of her dead grandfather, who, it emerged, was a decorated general on the Eastern front. In a rare confluence of memoir, psychology and historical detective story, this is Findlay's account of her unflinching quest for the truth about her German family, one that breaks through the silence surrounding many of the Second World War's perpetrators.

In My Grandfather's Shadow explores the heritability of unresolved experiences, questions deeply held perceptions of good and bad, and uncovers the lesser-known history of the war's losers, a post-war culture of apology and atonement, and the lingering legacy of shame. Using her own family story to explore an episode in history that continues to appal and fascinate, Findlay reveals that it is possible not only for the scars of trauma to be handed down through generations, but also for them to be healed.

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  1. Print length
    432 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Bantam Press
  4. Publication date
    14 July 2022
  5. Dimensions
    16 x 4 x 24.1 cm
  6. ISBN-10
    178763406X
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1787634060
  8. See all details
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From the Publisher

In My Grandfather's Shadow Keith Lowe quote
In My Grandfather's Shadow, Sinclair McKay, Julia Boyd, Julia Samuel
In My Grandfather's Shadow A Story of war, trauma and the legacy of silence

Product description

Review

A remarkable cross-pollination of memoir, psychology and history in which the author comes to grips with being the granddaughter of a Nazi general. ― i Paper

Brave ... full of insights and good research. -- Caroline Moorehead ― Times Literary Supplement Published On: 2023-06-16

A compelling journey through guilt and shame that asks fundamental and painful questions about the extent of a family member's participation in one of the biggest crimes of the 20th century. -- Derek Niemann, author of A Nazi in the Family Published On: 2022-04-01

In My Grandfather's Shadow is an extraordinary book. Beautifully written, poignant and acutely perceptive; endlessly thought-provoking and challenging. From the nature of wickedness to the phenomenon of epigenetics, it is also an extremely powerful and different way of seeing the vast and terrible tides of history. -- Sinclair McKay, author of Berlin, Dresden, and The Secret Life of Bletchley Park Published On: 2022-10-19

Seeking to untangle the complexities of her own life, the author goes in search of a WW2 German general - the grandfather she never knew. The outcome is a powerful and at times painfully honest story that will touch readers at many levels. -- Julia Boyd, author of Travellers in the Third Reich and A Village in the Third Reich

This is a moving and powerful memoir that illuminates the extraordinary power of unprocessed trauma as it passes through generations, and how when it is faced it can be healed. -- Julia Samuel, author of Every Family Has a Story, Grief Works and This Too Shall Pass Published On: 2022-05-23

[A] remarkable memoir .... It's a powerful investigation into the individual personal cost that results from wider history, and the ways in which inherited guilt and trauma can leave scars across generations. -- Caroline Sanderson ― The Bookseller Published On: 2022-04-16

This is an absolutely extraordinary book. In peeling back the layers of her family history, Angela Findlay reveals a vast, hidden European story that few nations have ever been brave enough to confront. -- Keith Lowe, Sunday Times bestselling author of Savage Continent: Europe in the Aftermath of World War II Published On: 2022-04-25

A page turner of the highest calibre! Meticulously researched, searingly honest and beautifully written, this timely book is a salient reminder of how intergenerational relationships connect threads between past and present.
The author skillfully excavates her grandfather's life putting the family puzzle together piece by piece to create a forensic and fascinating portrait of the past. Her book gives new meaning to the prescient words of psychoanalyst, Roger Woolger: 'It is the responsibility of the living to heal the dead. Otherwise their unfinished business will continue to play out in our fears, phobias and illnesses.

-- Marina Cantacuzino, Author and founder of The Forgiveness Project

What do you do if you are British and German and tormented by a vague sense of guilt which is ruining your life? The answer, in Angela Findlay's case, is you track down your WWII German general grandfather, who waged war on Russia. In a fast-moving story told with great feeling and solid scholarship, Angela Findlay confronts questions of good and evil, generational guilt and reconciliation ... This is a fine book: moving, serious and told with compelling verve. The moral is that honest remembrance of the past helps people live better futures. -- Marcus Ferrar, author of A Foot in Both Camps: a German Past for Better and for Worse Published On: 2022-07-05

In My Grandfather's Shadow' is a brave, powerful, honest, thoughtful and meticulously researched book. I enjoyed it immensely. It has made me think very hard about intergenerational trauma transfer and explains so much about Germany, and perhaps, in the current context, Russia. -- General Sir Richard Shirreff, former Deputy Supreme Allied Commander Europe and author of ‘War with Russia’ Published On: 2022-11-07

An unflinching exploration of shame and pain passed between generations. This is a powerful and important book which will change the way in which we understand ourselves. -- Emma Craigie, author of Hitler's Last Day Published On: 2022-05-05

In My Grandfather's Shadow is utterly compelling, elegantly written and extremely brave. The beauty of the book is how absolutely clearly it shows the depth and breadth of the author's research; the care and sensitivity she has brought to bear on the most difficult of subjects. -- Katie Jarvis, ― Cotswold Life Published On: 2022-10-01

In this gripping account of a long personal journey to confront a difficult family history, Findlay explores the effects of trauma, reveals the healing power of art, and affords deep insights into contemporary memorial culture. -- Bill Niven, Professor Emeritus in Contemporary German History at Nottingham Trent University and author of Facing the Nazi Past

A brave and profound book which asks difficult questions about how we live with those parts of history which we would rather forget. Angela Findlay is tireless in her search for the truth - and for a reconciliation process which acknowledges that there can be no neat conclusions. Many readers will find this book informative, healing and inspiring. -- ??????Alice Jolly, author of Mary Ann Sate, Imbecile and Dead Babies and Seaside Towns

A magnificent achievement. So honest, so thorough and so well written, both Angela's search for truth and this book are about the deepest possible experience of transmitted collective/personal trauma. -- Pamela Steiner, EdD, Senior Fellow, FXB Center for Health and Human Rights, Harvard School of Public Health and author of Collective Trauma and the Armenian Genocide Published On: 2022-12-13

Angela Findlay has written a brave and unflinchingly honest exploration of the complex legacy of her German grandfather's activities as a top-ranking Wehrmacht officer in WW2. Her book is essential reading for anyone who wants to understand the far-reaching impact of transgenerational memory, shame or trauma, and a moving testament to the personal and collective value of reckoning with the past.


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-- Rebecca Abrams, author of The Jewish Journey: 4000 Years in 22 Objects and Licoricia of Wincheste Published On: 2022-12-21

About the Author

Angela Findlay is an Anglo-German artist and public speaker who has spent much of her career teaching art in prisons. Her time 'behind bars' in Germany and later as Arts Co-ordinator for the London-based Koestler Arts charity informed her research into the intergenerational consequences of unresolved trauma, guilt and shame. For over a decade, she has been lecturing and writing on the topic as well as on post-war remembrance, resolution and reconciliation. In My Grandfather's Shadow is her first book.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Bantam Press (14 July 2022)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 432 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 178763406X
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1787634060
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 16 x 4 x 24.1 cm
  • Customer reviews:
    4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 80 ratings

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Angela Findlay

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4.3 out of 5 stars
80 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book thought-provoking and fascinating. They praise the author's insightful writing style and erudite choice of words. The narrative provides a personal perspective on issues like reconciliation and healing.

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Thought provokingWriting qualityHealing ability
10 customers mention ‘Thought provoking’10 positive0 negative

Customers find the book thought-provoking and personal. They appreciate the author's insights into how shame and guilt are passed down through conflict. The book blends her family's hidden stories with historical events, providing a rare glimpse into what it means to be half-Jewish. Overall, readers find the book moving, revealing, and relevant on many levels.

"...It explains through individual stories the traumatic effects of many aspects of war, how the trauma is passed on through generations, and introduces..." Read more

"...I was fascinated by the author’s journeys to follow in the footsteps of her grandfather’s war campaigns in Russia and especially poignant in Italy..." Read more

"...Worthy research of family and official sources together with travelogue to all the places the author’s grandfather fought in the war; Russia, Poland..." Read more

"...Angela's thorough research about her family background also speaks to my daughter who is about the same age as Angela - she is a minister of the..." Read more

8 customers mention ‘Writing quality’8 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the book's writing quality. They find it well-written and brilliant, with an erudite choice of words. The author has done extensive research into the Wehrmacht.

"...The author has a splendidly erudite choice of words too...." Read more

"...It’s courageous and beautifully written...." Read more

"...Angela Findlay writes very well and has done a huge amount of research into the Wehrmacht General that was her grandfather...." Read more

"...Angela Findlay addresses issues of guilt, atonement , remembrance, and looks into the whole war time experience as seen from an Anglo German..." Read more

3 customers mention ‘Healing ability’3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book healing. It's a story of reconciliation and forgiveness.

"...war, how the trauma is passed on through generations, and introduces the paths to healing...." Read more

"...It’s also a very brave personal story of reconciliation and healing. I enjoyed this book unreservedly and will read it again soon." Read more

"...directions, connecting past and future confirms that the present gives us access to heal /make amends for the terrible things we do / have done to..." Read more

Beautifully written and engaging
5 out of 5 stars
Beautifully written and engaging
This is a beautifully written, and eminently readable, book and an extraordinary personal story. Angela's research has been forensic and the result is a roller coaster of a journey through several decades as she tries to reconcile her family's past, break through the silence and discover the truth of her Grandfather's role in the Second World War, while laying her own demons to rest.
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Top reviews from United Kingdom

  • Lucy Wood
    5.0 out of 5 stars Extraordinary, unique and brilliant book
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 August 2022
    Verified Purchase
    This book is a contemporary autobiography intertwined with an unusual viewpoint of WWII also brilliantly intertwined with psychology. It somehow brings those 3 strands together in a way that is gripping, touching, fascinating and enlightening. It explains through individual stories the traumatic effects of many aspects of war, how the trauma is passed on through generations, and introduces the paths to healing.
    A compelling story told with touching and admirable honesty that offers a deep understanding of the most recent psychological theories on trauma. Sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes revealing, sometimes educational. Ultimately, a gift to humanity.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • R Dunkerley
    5.0 out of 5 stars A fascinating book with huge insights
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 10 November 2022
    Verified Purchase
    An absolutely gripping book in which the author explores her Anglo-German family’s past and the role of her grandfather, a decorated German general, in the Second World War. It blends her family’s hidden stories with momentous historical events and also how the unresolved traumas of one generation can impact the lives and behaviour of subsequent generations. I was fascinated by the author’s journeys to follow in the footsteps of her grandfather’s war campaigns in Russia and especially poignant in Italy where he surrendered his unit to the US Army. The author has many insights into how shame and guilt caused by conflict is passed down the generations. It’s also a very brave personal story of reconciliation and healing. I enjoyed this book unreservedly and will read it again soon.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Will
    4.0 out of 5 stars Haunting narrative
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 April 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Fascinating and riveting family/WW2 history. To have a Wehrmacht general for a grandfather when you were born in the 1960s UK is incredible indeed.
    Worthy research of family and official sources together with travelogue to all the places the author’s grandfather fought in the war; Russia, Poland, Italy. The author has a splendidly erudite choice of words too.
    My only negative, and it’s quite a big one, is that there is far too much discussion on mental health (the author’s included) and various therapies and so on. I skipped those pages.
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  • Mrs. B.
    5.0 out of 5 stars Not read yet.
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 19 January 2025
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    Not read yet but am looking forward to doing so. Great price and delivered very quickly too so many thanks indeed.
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  • B Munro
    5.0 out of 5 stars Generosity of spirit
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 December 2022
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    I have just finished In my grandfathers shadow . It’s courageous and beautifully written. The concept of time flowing in multiple directions, connecting past and future confirms that the present gives us access to heal /make amends for the terrible things we do / have done to each other. By sharing your personal journey with such honesty shows you have an amazing generosity of spirit .
    Thank you !
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Masterpiece
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 2 September 2022
    Verified Purchase
    On so many levels Angela's first book has relevance to me and my family. Having lived as a German for almost half a century in England, I can identify with Angela's story. The shame about my native country's actions under Hitler has never left me even though I was far too young to do anything about it. All the more I admire my late parents for how they managed to give us a largely trouble-free upbringing during these dark times. Angela's thorough research about her family background also speaks to my daughter who is about the same age as Angela - she is a minister of the Unitarian Church in California and will certainly talk to her congregation about "In my Grandfather's shadow". We are very grateful to Angela!
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Colin
    4.0 out of 5 stars A well-written book that paints both sides of the picture
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 28 November 2022
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    However you feel about inherited guilt or shame, this is a book that will keep you turning the pages. Angela Findlay writes very well and has done a huge amount of research into the Wehrmacht General that was her grandfather. She has visited the key sites of his early life, his military career (in both Russia and Italy) and the straitened circumstances of his last years. He was a good soldier who was unfortunate to have been born German; had he been born in Britain, his story would have been very different. Angela Findlay engrossingly explores the connection between his life and her own troubled adolescence, drawing some intriguing conclusions.
    3 people found this helpful
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  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Well worth the read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 10 November 2022
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    Angela provides a rare insight into what it means to her to be half German in the modern era in a deeply moving and very personal narrative, that covers a wide range of issues and is both fascinating and at times slightly uncomfortable reading. Absorbing and thought provoking.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Annette
    5.0 out of 5 stars Aktueller denn je
    Reviewed in Germany on 10 November 2022
    Verified Purchase
    Wer Angela Findlays Blogs kennt, und ihre Sprechart liebt, der kommt beim Lesen voll auf seine Kosten. Angelas Stil ist wundervoll, sie umarmt mit Worten.

    In ihrem Buch gibt Angela tiefe, ehrliche und offene Einblicke in die Problematik ihrer Kindheit in England als Enkelin eines deutschen Wehrmacht-Generals und die Familiengeschichte während des 2. Weltkriegs, um so die Traumata der Vergangenheit zu verarbeiten und dadurch für die Gegenwart und die Zukunft zu gesunden, und hilft somit all uns, die wir Kinder, Enkel oder Urenkel der Kriegsgeneration sind, zu verstehen und sie für uns selber aufzuarbeiten. Ein Krieg ist nicht vorbei, wenn er vorbei ist - er verletzt immer weiter und weiter.

    Insofern ist dieses Buch - geschrieben in den Jahren, wo ein Krieg undenkbar geworden war - jetzt aktueller denn je. Es brachte mich zum Weinen und zum herzhaften Lachen, es bestätigt unbewusst Gefühltes und klärt. Ich empfehle In My Grandfather's Shadow aus tiefstem Herzen - ich denke, wir alle tragen diese "Kriegsverletzungen" in uns - in dem wir uns mit ihnen Dank dieses bewegenden Buches auseinandersetzen, können wir sie möglicherweise heilen.
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