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How to Love (Mindfulness Essentials) Paperback – December 1, 2014

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 4,651 ratings

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The most popular book in the "How To" series: advice, practices, and food for thought from a Zen Master on our most universal emotion. 

The third book in the bestselling Mindfulness Essentials series, a back-to-basics collection from world-renowned Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh that introduces everyone to the essentials of mindfulness practice.

Nhat Hanh brings his signature clarity, compassion, and humor to the thorny question of how to love. He distills one of our strongest emotions down to four essentials: you can only love another when you feel true love for yourself; love is understanding; understanding brings compassion; deep listening and loving speech are key ways of showing our love.

Pocket-sized, with original two color illustrations by Jason DeAntonis,
How to Love shows that when we feel closer to our loved ones, we are also more connected to the world as a whole. With sections on Love vs. Need, Being in Love, Reverence, Intimacy, Children and Family, Reconciling with Parents, and more, How to Love includes meditations you can do alone or with your partner to go deep inside and expand your own capacity to love.

Scientific studies indicate that meditation contributes tremendously to well-being, general health, and longevity.
How to Love is a unique gift for those who want a comprehensive yet simple guide to understanding the many different kinds of love, along with meditative practices that can expand the understanding of and capacity for love, appropriate for those practicing in any spiritual tradition, whether seasoned practitioners or new to meditation.
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From the Publisher

Book cover image and synopsis

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Thich Nhat Hanh Portrait

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Editorial Reviews

Review

The Mindfulness Essentials have appeared on the NPR Bestseller list, the San Francisco Chronicle Bestseller list, the Boston Globe Bestseller list, the LA Times Bestseller List and the extended New York Times Bestseller List. 

“The monk who taught the world mindfulness.”
TIME
 
“Thich Nhat Hanh shows us the connection between personal inner peace and peace on earth.”
His Holiness the Dalai Lama

“Thich Nhat Hanh is a holy man, for he is humble and devout. He is a scholar of immense intellectual capacity. His ideas for peace, if applied, would build a monument to ecumenism, to world brotherhood, to humanity.”
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

About the Author

Thich Nhat Hanh was a world-renowned spiritual teacher and peace activist. Born in Vietnam in 1926, he became a Zen Buddhist monk at the age of sixteen. Over seven decades of teaching, he published more than 100 books, which have sold more than four million copies in the United States alone. Exiled from Vietnam in 1966 for promoting peace, his teachings on Buddhism as a path to social and political transformation are responsible for bringing the mindfulness movement to Western culture. He established the international Plum Village Community of Engaged Buddhism in France, now the largest Buddhist monastery in Europe and the heart of a growing community of mindfulness practice centers around the world. He passed away in 2022 at the age of 95 at his root temple, Tu Hieu, in Hue, Vietnam.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Parallax Press; Reprint edition (December 1, 2014)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 128 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1937006883
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1937006884
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 4 x 0.34 x 6 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 4,651 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4,651 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book helpful and inspirational with meaningful teachings about living mindfully in today's stressful world. They describe it as a simple, concise read that hits home with all the basic truths. Readers appreciate the wonderful insights about love and compassion shared in the book. They find it a great gift and effective for building healthy relationships. However, opinions differ on the pacing - some find it calming and uplifting, while others feel there are a few pages of fluff or nothing substantial.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

170 customers mention "Insight"170 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful and inspirational. They appreciate the meaningful teachings, simple yet profound language, and different perspective it provides. The book offers good information for those looking for guidance on how to live a mindful life.

"I chose this rating because it is an easy read with meaningful teachings...." Read more

"I love Thich Nhat Hanh's writings, and this book presents ideas that I have not heard elsewhere...." Read more

"...The author gives wonderful guidance and advice, and provides good descriptions of what a loving relationship should be...." Read more

"I love these books. They are thought provoking and also easy to apply to life. Easy to recall and are an open hearted approach to love and kindness...." Read more

93 customers mention "Ease of reading"87 positive6 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and concise. They appreciate the simple yet powerful writing style that resonates with their values. The format of how-to books is also appreciated for its clear instructions and practices.

"I chose this rating because it is an easy read with meaningful teachings...." Read more

"...read, I slowed down and appreciated the surface messages and the beautiful language...." Read more

"I love these books. They are thought provoking and also easy to apply to life. Easy to recall and are an open hearted approach to love and kindness...." Read more

"...Such a simple sentence with so much wisdom packed in one sentence...." Read more

61 customers mention "Love"58 positive3 negative

Customers find the book provides wonderful insights about love and compassion. They appreciate the ways to bring loving thoughts and actions into their lives and learn to love themselves. The book is a daily read on relationship wisdom, and useful for any kind of relationship, including marital, friends, and co-workers. Readers describe it as a thoughtful little book that is inspiring.

"...Wonderful ways to bring loving thoughts and actions into your life." Read more

"...Easy to recall and are an open hearted approach to love and kindness. No blame - self reflection...." Read more

"Helpful Reflections & Insight on Understanding Common Problems with Love ❤️" Read more

"Lots of valuable insights for couples. The importance of understanding and compassion was beautifully explained." Read more

28 customers mention "Readability"28 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and packed with valuable insights. They appreciate the concise, to-the-point writing style and simple reminders about slowing down and focusing on each moment.

"...you how elated I am to have been recommended this very profound yet quick read that kept me riveted from beginning to end... I finished it in about..." Read more

"...Love his work! It’s a really small book and not very long but perfect size to take on a plane (if it’s a relevantly quick trip!)." Read more

"...Simplicity is key, and I like how every page is short, concise, to the point...." Read more

"This is a quick quick read. Small pocket size book with short one page chapters...." Read more

7 customers mention "Gift value"7 positive0 negative

Customers find the book a good gift. They say it's a beautiful little book full of wisdom and have given it to friends.

"Great book for anyone in a marriage/relationship or a great Wedding Gift! Really has great words of wisdom." Read more

"Another excellent book by Thich Nhat Hahn. Given as a wedding gift and the couple loved it!" Read more

"...I have read it several times and given it away to friends. Love it." Read more

"Beautiful little gift book, full of wisdom." Read more

4 customers mention "Effectiveness"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the book effective and powerful. They say it helps them build a peaceful, happy, healthy relationship.

"...how to love & be loved, love positively, communicate lovingly and effectively and helps guide you down the path to a peaceful, happy, healthy and..." Read more

"One of Thich Nahat Nanh's best works... After reading two of his previous books, this OE is just as explicit and well written." Read more

"Simple, effective..." Read more

"Beautifully simple yet potent..." Read more

18 customers mention "Pacing"11 positive7 negative

Customers have different views on the pacing of the book. Some find it calming and helpful, helping them feel better. Others feel it lacks substance and is not as profound as other texts.

"...I have been practicing some of the teachings for a week now and already feel better. More true to myself helping to be true to others...." Read more

"...But the book itself won't make you better: you have to put in the work and learn to be whole...." Read more

"I loved the book. Simple, succinct, and calming. I learned a lot in a short time, now it’s time to put it to practice. :)" Read more

"...lovingly and effectively and helps guide you down the path to a peaceful, happy, healthy and functioning relationship. I love this book." Read more

Small but cute.
5 out of 5 stars
Small but cute.
Size is probably in description but I added all of Thich Nhat Hanh books to my cart. Love his work! It’s a really small book and not very long but perfect size to take on a plane (if it’s a relevantly quick trip!).
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2024
    I chose this rating because it is an easy read with meaningful teachings. I have been practicing some of the teachings for a week now and already feel better. More true to myself helping to be true to others. I would recommend this book to anyone who has room for improvement in their self being, which is most people!!
    5 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 21, 2024
    I love Thich Nhat Hanh's writings, and this book presents ideas that I have not heard elsewhere. Wonderful ways to bring loving thoughts and actions into your life.
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 19, 2019
    I am not a self-help book type of person, and I used to take a weird kind of pride in that. But when my partner of 12 years left me last spring, it disrupted my life in ways I couldn't just shrug off. At a friend's recommendation, I bought this book with a big dose of skepticism. My first read through was fast - not because of the simplistic language and ideas, but because I was looking for the answers to my questions and solutions to my problems. On my second read, I slowed down and appreciated the surface messages and the beautiful language. I'm on my 10th or 11th read through this book, and often pick it up to read passages whenever I'm feeling down to spark good, healthy thinking (I'm so anti-self-help I still have an aversion to calling it "meditation"). But the book itself won't make you better: you have to put in the work and learn to be whole. The book is there to provide healthy relationship goals, but in the end, you always need to be responsible for your own happiness. If there are any shortcuts, I haven't found them yet.

    The author gives wonderful guidance and advice, and provides good descriptions of what a loving relationship should be. I don't agree 100% with everything in the book, but it's full of beautiful intentions and open-hearted encouragement.
    91 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 14, 2020
    I love these books. They are thought provoking and also easy to apply to life. Easy to recall and are an open hearted approach to love and kindness. No blame - self reflection.
    I would like to express though that this particular Love seems to be centered about an intimate relation not necessarily a friendship or platonic relationship but around maybe someone you live with like a husband or partner or significant other. I was looking for something that touch on platonic friendships. Women specifically-we can be a tough crew.
    14 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 15, 2024
    Helpful Reflections & Insight on Understanding Common Problems with Love ❤️
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 2, 2024
    Lots of valuable insights for couples. The importance of understanding and compassion was beautifully explained.
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2019
    "To love without knowing *how* to love wounds the person we love." Such a simple sentence with so much wisdom packed in one sentence. This distinction between the feeling of love and the skill to love is an important one. We all know that but never have I had a teacher clearly identify the differences between true love and unhealthy attachments so clearly. And lo and behold, true love is not about identifying and fixing the deficiencies in others, but rather, cultivating love and healing in yourself first. If we love with a wounded, desperate heart, we do great harm to others and only perpetuate our own suffering while creating fresh trauma for others. And on and on it goes. This lovely book has inspired me to do more work on my own wounds while reminding me of simple, powerful practices to show love for my spouse and children. Listen deeply. Show the same reverence that you offer an honored guest. Cultivate joy at every opportunity.
    48 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 28, 2015
    I can't tell you how elated I am to have been recommended this very profound yet quick read that kept me riveted from beginning to end... I finished it in about 2 days reading from my kindle app on my phone as well as the PC Amazon Cloud Reader version while multitasking at work... VERY inexpensive and well worth ingesting..... The title may be simple but this is not some elementary manual on "love" in the commercially personified or rudimentary way.... Rather it is a very deep and conscious guide towards loving with more than words or emotions or in idealized concept..... I really feel this book is VITAL for every human being to read... The principles in this book speak to a deeper consciousness to foster healthier relationships with every love in your life-- spouses/mates/friends/ siblings/ family/ children etc . It's only 118 pages and visually spaced for a quick and easy flow. It's the kind of book you read and some months or years later re-read again like it's the first time all over .... Consider it a life manual to keep referring back to... I implore you to take the time to ingest this important spiritual work....... and may it enrich you as greatly as it has enriched me....
    124 people found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

  • Humorous murder's
    5.0 out of 5 stars Never Take A Title for Granted
    Reviewed in Canada on September 11, 2021
    Short pages with wonderful words to ponder over and not each page may pertain to everyone. I've read each page and wondered how one would interpret the words. Found a lot of my own questions that I've taken time to think over and journaled on. It May not be for all, but it doesn't hurt to read and pass it on. Perhaps it will be a good addition to one's library. Some books I prefer not to read on an electronic device because one tends to forget about it. I personally enjoyed it and I have someone who would like to borrow it.
  • R.H.
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very satisfied
    Reviewed in the United Arab Emirates on August 19, 2024
    Book as described, clean and new.
    Even recieved it earlier than the expected date. Thank you very much.
  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Special book
    Reviewed in Germany on May 28, 2024
    Worth buying. Perfect love description that may shake you up. Do you truly love?
  • Ha Nguyen
    5.0 out of 5 stars Teach us how to heal our suffers and our precious ones' suffers
    Reviewed in the Netherlands on October 2, 2023
    This book brought me to an out-of-the-box idea to practice saying "Darling, I am suffering. Please help." especially if it was the person we love who caused our suffering.
    I have never done this before, but at the moment I did it, I felt truly relieved. It is not because my partner healed my suffers, but because I can recognize my feeling and understand why I felt that way. I healed myself first just by accepting it and then accept the fact that my partner had suffered something in the past so he reflected it on me.
  • Aman Rana
    5.0 out of 5 stars Before you buy
    Reviewed in India on June 3, 2021
    A very short and amazing book, I was in need of this book. i saw the name and just bought it without reading review of it.

    The book is very short and There's no chapters what this book has is topics, Start reading from 1st chap and you can't stop your self from reading it.

    Amazingly written and very effective brief tips to develop your relationships and self in daily life. Author has made it very simple and clear which helps to understand it well.

    you can read this book daily, in the evening and morning, enlighten your self and spend your day happily.
    i choose the morning time for this and it make my day better