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Composing Myself Kindle Edition
The worst kind of lie is the one you tell yourself.
For Whitney Monroe, it's always been easier to lie about who her mother was than face the shame and judgement that would surely follow the truth.
Raised by her grandmother, Whitney has always managed to keep her two worlds separate, even if it means lying to everyone—especially herself. But those lies suddenly become much harder to keep when Reid Phillips, a struggling musician and her not-entirely-welcome new roommate complicates things by seeing right through her carefully constructed walls and challenging her compartmentalized life.
Now with Grams seriously ill, her mother’s life in turmoil and her dream job and relationship on the line, it’s more important than ever for Whitney to hold everything together. But when that means being honest with everyone—starting with herself, is Whitney strong enough to do what it takes?
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateApril 25, 2013
- File size1.2 MB
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Editorial Reviews
Review
~ Tracey Garvis Graves, author of the New York Times bestseller On the Island
From the Author
The process of writing a book is never just about crafting a story, making up characters and putting them through drama. For me, the process always becomes a journey and when I started writing Composing Myself, I had no idea where it would take me. I was totally unprepared for the flood of emotions that came out when I immersed myself in this story.
The relationship between the main character, Whitney and Grams, is a close one, and while it is fictional, it was inspired by my own relationship with my grandma. I lost her almost a year ago to breast cancer and I miss her every day.
It is my hope that this book takes you on your own journey, of acceptance, forgiveness and strength. Thank you, and enjoy.
~Elena
From the Inside Flap
It wasn't exactly pride I felt, but something else, as I watched my mother. Not everyone can say they have a mother who can work a pole the way she can. To be fair, I'm not entirely sure anyone else would want to say it. But she is who she is, and finally, after almost twenty-three years, I've accepted that fact. Mostly.
She got up off the floor and once again wrapped her leg around the pole. She began to spin; her hair, which was a candy apple shade of red for the moment, streamed behind her in a way that reminded me of a carnival ride.
"Hey, sexy, why don't you get up there and make it a mother-daughter act?"
I had to will myself not to shudder at the voice. When I turned around, I was extra careful to breathe through my mouth in order to avoid the overwhelming stench of cheap cologne and stale cigarettes.
"Leon," I said through clenched teeth and forced a smile we both knew was fake. I've always done my best to play nice with my mother's co-workers, no matter how nasty they were. Grams taught me to give people the benefit of doubt but I'd learned that some people didn't deserve it. I winced when Leon took a step closer and took a step back, out of reach.
"Whitney Houston, good to see you again." His beady black eyes travelled up and down the length of me, but I chose to ignore him, and the obnoxious nickname. The year I'd been conceived my mother had been overly inspired by the infamous pop star who was getting her start with hits like, "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." Coincidentally, shortly after my birth, my mother was also getting her start; only she actually was dancing for those somebodies. It didn't matter if that was true or not, that's how I thought of it.
"I got some extra outfits in the back." Leon was still talking and his stubby, nicotine-stained fingers managed to snag a piece of my hair. "It'll be hot. You--with your mama."
I leaned back and my hair slid from his grasp. With one hand, I pulled it over my shoulder and out of reach. "Keep dreaming, Leon."
"Oh, I will," he said. "You have no idea."
And I didn't want any idea, either. He was persistent; I could say that much about him.
"If you're not gonna show me what you got, why you here?" He shifted back in his chair and sipped on his ever-present whiskey.
"I have to talk to Patty." I glanced towards my mother who was still spinning, albeit a little slower than before. I looked back at Leon. "It's important."
"Important or not, wait until after her set. She's not getting paid to sit around and talk." His tone turned nasty. It almost always did if I was unfortunate enough to talk to him for longer than a few minutes. I was just about to formulate some sort of smart-ass response when another familiar voice caught my attention.
"Whit! What a surprise."
I turned, and moved straight into Stan's open arms. It felt good to see him. As my mother's sort-of-boyfriend-sort-of-husband, Stan was the closest thing I'd ever had to a father figure.
"Are you bothering my girl again, Leon?" Stan released me and turned to face Leon. "Because if I hear even one--"
Leon held up his hands, and backed away. "You know I wouldn't dream of it, boss." He leered at me one more time and took off before Stan could say anything else.
"I'm sorry about that, Whit." Stan gestured to a table for us to sit. "I know I should replace him, but despite his attitude, he's actually cut out for this job and I'll be honest, it's easier for me to deal with him than to manage myself."
"Really? You're not getting tired of running the Lady, are you?" I rolled my eyes and Stan laughed. He was the exact opposite of what I would expect a strip club owner to look like. Not that I knew a lot of them. As long as I'd known him, he'd sported a full head of silver hair with a matching mustache. I used to think it was because he was so much older than my mom, but ten years seemed like a much larger age gap when I was a teenager than it really was. And as long as he remained a strong, grounding force in my mother's life, I wasn't complaining.
"Sit, let's catch up," he said.
I glanced at the vinyl seat and tried not to think about what may or may not have happened in that exact spot. I'd been around the Lusty Lady long enough to know that Stan ran things totally aboveboard. He didn't believe in blurring the lines or allowing his girls to go too far with the patrons. Regardless, I tugged my coat off and tried to lay it on the seat without drawing too much attention to it, but Stan knew me better than that. He looked like he was trying not to laugh at me, which considering the smile that spread across his face, was probably pretty accurate. I shrugged and sat on my coat.
We had pretty close to front row seats, so I turned my attention back to the stage--and my mother--who was crawling along the floor on her special show blanket, while undoing her top. With a practiced hand, she flung the top to the side and revealed her remarkably perky, yet as far as I knew surgically unaltered breasts. For a woman who just turned forty-one, she looked amazing. Hell, for a woman of any age, she looked amazing. I crossed my arms over my chest and flipped my hair over my shoulder.
"She looks fantastic, doesn't she?"
About the Author
Product details
- ASIN : B00CJ1IEAQ
- Publisher : Ink Blot Communications; 5th edition (April 25, 2013)
- Publication date : April 25, 2013
- Language : English
- File size : 1.2 MB
- Simultaneous device usage : Unlimited
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 336 pages
- Page numbers source ISBN : 1989685153
- Best Sellers Rank: #2,990,943 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #14,570 in Mothers & Children Fiction
- #18,458 in Women's Friendship Fiction
- #43,809 in Contemporary Women's Fiction
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Elena Aitken is a USA Today Bestselling Author of more than fifty romance and women’s fiction novels. The mother of ‘grown up’ twins, Elena now lives with her very own mountain man in the heart of the very mountains she writes about. She can often be found with her toes in the lake and a glass of wine in her hand, dreaming up her next book and working on her own happily ever after.
For a free exclusive novella, click here—> www.elenaaitken.com/signup/
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers enjoyed the book and found it easy to read. They appreciated the well-developed characters and found the emotional content touching. The pacing held their attention throughout, and the author did a good job conveying everyone's feelings and relationships. Overall, readers enjoyed the writing style and found the story delightfully written.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers enjoy the book. They find it an engaging read, and praise the author's consistent writing style. They enjoy the story and how the author develops the relationship between characters. The author has them hooked for life, and they read the book in one day.
"I know it's a great book, when I'm up until 4am on a work night reading and just can't put it down...." Read more
"I very much enjoyed reading Composing Myself. I thought that the characters were very well developed as was the plot...." Read more
"...I didn't want to finish because I knew I would miss them. Such a great read. LOVED it!!" Read more
"...Looking forward to the next book as always. This author has me hooked for life!" Read more
Customers enjoy the well-developed characters. It's fun to watch them grow.
"I had mixed feelings about the book. I loved the main characters and their love story but the author also told Whitney's mother's story by taking..." Read more
"...I thought that the characters were very well developed as was the plot...." Read more
"Within pages of this book I was hooked...the characters are so well developed, it's like they are your friends...." Read more
"...She has strong characters with a lot of chemistry (Whitney and Reid), while weaving in a story about Whitney's mom...." Read more
Customers find the book emotional and touching. They say the journey of Whitney is poignant and will stay with them long after they close the book. The characters help create a rich tapestry of entertaining narrative.
"...An ensemble of unique characters helps to create a rich tapestry of entertaining narrative...." Read more
"...and the emotion between her and her daughter and granddaughter was heart wrenching...." Read more
"...Just this story so made me cry and look back at what my family went thorough with my nonna and holding her picture as I write this fanoanale amazing..." Read more
"...Whitney's journey is poignant and will stay with you long after you close the book." Read more
Customers enjoy the book's pacing. They find it engaging and can feel the varied emotions of the characters. The author does a good job conveying everyone's feelings and relationships with one another, giving the reader a perfect perspective to understand and become part of these experiences.
"...The writer gives the reader a perfect perspective to understand and become a part of these characters lives...." Read more
"...The author did a good job conveying everyone's feelings and their relationships with one another. It made for a very emotional read as well...." Read more
"...This particular story was so incredibly touching and mesmerizing. This story was romantic, funny, sad and heartbreaking all in one...." Read more
"...The book held my attention all the way through and I could feel all the varied emotions of the main characters...." Read more
Customers enjoy the writing style. They find the story delightfully written with humorous situations. The author has matured as an author and they look forward to more great reads.
"...Loved it! Loved it! This story was rare gem. Delightfully written, the humorous situations are so genuinely relatable, I accidentally..." Read more
"...Elena has really matured as an author & I look forward to many more great reads...." Read more
"A very well written book. I didn't enjoy it as much as the others but they are all hard to put down (or in the case of my Kindle, turn off)...." Read more
"...Elena's writing style captivates you so that you want to know what is next. I can't wait for news of another book...." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on May 2, 2013Loved it! Loved it! Loved it!
This story was rare gem. Delightfully written, the humorous situations are so genuinely relatable, I accidentally woke my husband laughing while reading in bed.
The dynamic between Whitney and Reid is honest, intriguing and engaging. You can't help but root for them, laugh with them and at times, cringe for them.
An ensemble of unique characters helps to create a rich tapestry of entertaining narrative. The writer gives the reader a perfect perspective to understand and become a part of these characters lives. The talent of this writers allows for an insight into how peoples past experiences mould their future.
It's a rarity to want to tell as many people as possible about a story. This is indeed the case with Composing Myself. I loved this story.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 24, 2013I had mixed feelings about the book. I loved the main characters and their love story but the author also told Whitney's mother's story by taking chapters back in time. I am not fond of this method of relating the story. While it helped identify Party's character and where she was coming from, it could have been told in present day in the main text of the story. The grandmother was a touching addition and the emotion between her and her daughter and granddaughter was heart wrenching. The author did a good job conveying everyone's feelings and their relationships with one another. It made for a very emotional read as well. Definitely recommend.
- Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2013I know it's a great book, when I'm up until 4am on a work night reading and just can't put it down. That happened to me while reading Composing Myself. This is the 2nd book I've read by Elena Aitken, and once again, I was pulled in from the first page. This particular story was so incredibly touching and mesmerizing. This story was romantic, funny, sad and heartbreaking all in one. Typically for me books that alternate between past and present are distracting to me. However, both stories that finally merged together at the end just worked so beautifully that I found myself engaged with the entire book. In the end, the reason to read this story beside the undeniable attraction and connection between the two main characters is to remember that you need to live your life for YOU no matter what. To love your family, but not let them lead your life. To be true to who you are, and to always no matter what, always follow your heart.
- Reviewed in the United States on June 11, 2013I very much enjoyed reading Composing Myself. I thought that the characters were very well developed as was the plot. The book held my attention all the way through and I could feel all the varied emotions of the main characters. Elena has really matured as an author & I look forward to many more great reads. This book spanned the generations so became of interest to people of varied age groups.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2013Within pages of this book I was hooked...the characters are so well developed, it's like they are your friends. I literally couldn't put this book down, until the last 2 chapters - then I would read a few pages and put it down, read a few, put it down, and so on. I didn't want it to end! I didn't want to finish because I knew I would miss them. Such a great read. LOVED it!!
- Reviewed in the United States on June 5, 2013A very well written book. I didn't enjoy it as much as the others but they are all hard to put down (or in the case of my Kindle, turn off). Looking forward to the next book as always. This author has me hooked for life!
- Reviewed in the United States on June 1, 2014I absolutely am in love with this story never hide anything people who judge you or family for that they do is crucial and this book show how you can overcome anything . Follow your heart and always stick with it and for grams I went through the same illness with ny grandma it was hard to see her suffer and did not want treatment either she went to heaven when it was her time to go. Just this story so made me cry and look back at what my family went thorough with my nonna and holding her picture as I write this fanoanale amazing work
- Reviewed in the United States on May 27, 2013I really enjoy Ms. Aitken's books. The characters in Composing Myself were regular people who had some unusual circumstances, but dealt with family issues which many can relate too. Parents we aren't always proud of, or expectations set that we try to achieve for only to find out those expectations aren't really the right place to be. The main character Whitney, I found that I liked her right away and I was eager to find out how things would turn out for her. It was a great book and I can't wait for the next one.
Top reviews from other countries
- RiverdaffydReviewed in the United Kingdom on April 13, 2016
5.0 out of 5 stars A satisfying read
Such a lovely story. The growing attraction between Whitney and Reid is almost secondary to the family dynamics. Both of them come from fractured families, but where Reid was left to bring up his young sister Lizzy, Whitney at least had a happy childhood, brought up by her grandmother, with her mother on the fringes of her life.
I enjoyed the viewpoint through Whitney's eyes in the present, and through her mother Patty's view of their past. It shows how families make mistakes, albeit for what seem at the time to be for the right reasons, and the repercussions echo through the years. I felt great sympathy for Patty, whose life is in some ways wrecked by her mothers' anger at her choice of job; she finds a man who loves her deeply, Stan, but will never commit to him because her mother disapproves of his job. She adores her daughter, but is persuaded by her mother that she should stay out of her life, and it breaks her heart. Whitney does keep in contact with Patty, but rarely tells people about her because they disapprove; she has told her uptight boyfriend William that her mother is dead! Then, when all the angst is sorted out and everyone has made their peace with everyone else - more sadness. But by the end you know that everyone will be alright. It is a satisfying end, but several tissues are required en route! It is a good read!
- RebeccaLeaReviewed in Canada on May 1, 2013
5.0 out of 5 stars What a nice read!
I totally enjoyed reading this book. It doesn't follow the exact pattern that most 'romances' do and I liked that. The Author made me care about the characters and touched on various points of very sad subjects with clarity and yet did not dwell on them. I'm actually sad that the novel is over and consider it well written when I wonder about the Characters next moves and how the rest of their lives will pan out. Is there a sequel out there in the stratosphere? I hope so.
- Lynda PetersReviewed in Australia on September 9, 2015
4.0 out of 5 stars Another good one!
Yet again a wonderful touching story from Elena Aitken. An enjoyable read from start to finish!